Services – Susan Kokke LMFT

Therapeutic and Counseling Services

I have successfully worked with individuals, couples, and families struggling with a wide range of difﬁculties including trauma, depression, and relational issues/conﬂicts.

When working with clients I utilize an eclectic approach with a large portion being a psychodynamic approach. I also utilize other approaches when appropriate and/or when it would assist the growth/healing process including, but not limited to DBT, CBT, anger management, Brainspotting, mindfulness, and bilateral music.

Counseling for People with Trauma

My work with people who are dealing with past trauma involves exploring the trauma and the coping and survival mechanisms that were developed to assist them in living through and surviving their traumatic or abusive situations. We look at how these coping and survival mechanisms assisted them at different points in their lives, and how they may be getting in their way now.

I help clients recognize when the coping and survival mechanisms are kicking in automatically (autopilot) and how to check whether the mechanism is either needed or appropriate in the current situation. This assists people in becoming more conscious and gives them the ability to choose whether to implement the coping mechanism or not, or to utilize another tool or option.

I assist clients in developing other options and skills to utilize in addition to the mechanisms they already have. They also commonly shift old mechanisms into updated versions that work more effectively with their current life situation. We also explore triggers and body sensations that offer information cues. I offer information and education regarding trauma and trauma response, to normalize what they may be experiencing due to the situations they experienced and assist clients to shift from reactivity to responsiveness.

Couples Counseling

My work in couples counseling often involves:

• Working with partners to take their relationship from where it currently is to where they want it to be, to identifying the steps for getting there, and to assist in moving forward with those steps,
• Offering tools for improving communication between partners and enhancing their relationship,
• Helping people to repair the relationship and to reconnect after they have disconnected or damaged the relationship. Repairing and reconnecting are intricate to growing and healing as a couple. All couples argue, disagree, and disconnect at some moments: the challenge is to learn to reconnect and repair any damage that has been done to the relationship. I assist people with tools and techniques and to utilize the strengths that they bring to the relationship, and
• Helping couples salvage their relationship, transforming through practices of love, respect, gratitude, and generosity. Or if couples desire I assist them to ﬁnd ways that they can separate amicably and respectfully.

My couples therapy work is informed by the research of Dr. John Gottman.

My work with individuals as well as couples may also include assisting people to:

• recognize and control reactive impulsivity,
• regulate their emotions,
• engage mindfulness,
• recognize black and white thinking, globalization, and all or nothing thinking,
• identify distorted thoughts and thought patterns, and to utilize thought stopping,
• stop and change the channel,
• recognize their autopilot and to disengage it,
• review and expand the options available, and
• assert appropriate choice based on the information they have reviewed.

We develop a list of options for when they are faced with extreme moods and I teach:

• being present/mindful,
• self soothing techniques,
• distraction techniques,
• distress tolerance,
• assertive communication skills, and
• interpersonal and relational skills.

Photo by Sophia Williams, Sophia's Special Deliveries

All relationships experience difficulties—the challenge is to maintain a connection while going through them and to repair any damage or disconnection that occurred from it.